


688 B.C.E

by HoldingOntoMyself



Series: 688 [1]
Category: Mixed Martial Arts RPF, wolfgang - Fandom
Genre: Dramatic, Help Wanted, I need help, M/M, Martial Arts, Mixed Martial Arts, Multi, Needed, biggers, co writers, herichpeter, hermann - Freeform, i beg, i love this, i need co writers, idk why but my father is printing this and um im excited, im having writers block issues rn so im posting this to get opinions thanks, kill me, need 2 writers plz, please, please help, wolfgangzerick, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-02-08 19:49:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 19,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12871761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoldingOntoMyself/pseuds/HoldingOntoMyself
Summary: In a story filled with martial arts and dramatic scenes including characters Wolfgang,  Sigg,  Hermann,  Herich,  and Ali, who all have much different personalities and ways of thinking. Taking drastic turns and plot twists, we experience the book from each of their views.I am going to be answering questions at the ending of chapter one, thank you.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am needing co-writers to help me with this book, I am experiencing writers block and I am aiming for 100 pages but we may be doing 200. Message me on kik at @emilys.dog if you are interested.

For my martial arts instructors, each and every one, my mother for taking me to my classes, and my father for encouraging me to start and finish this book. Thank you all, for giving me confidence that I’ll get my black belt two years from now. 

I have always adhered to two principals. The first one is to train hard and get in the best possible physical condition. The second is to forget all about the other fellow until you face him in the ring and the bell rings for the fight.  
-Rocky Marciano

 

APRIL WAS MY FIRST DAY OF MARTIAL ARTS,   
however, as we pulled into the parking lot, there was only one or two cars, three counting my father’s old blue truck with his business name on the side. “I need a new truck..” my father mumbled, making me laugh a bit as we got out, locking the doors and walking out and into the building with the business name across it. The building was far more bigger than it looked on the outside, which caught me by surprise. I saw a man with ginger coloured hair look up, his eyes narrowing as he examined my skinny body with very few muscles that were very hard to see considering they were on my forearms that were covered by an oversized shirt. “You must be Herich!” His german accent rang out, it was loud and obnoxious, though it was germany and I expected it. He rose from his seat, revealing a black Gi with a snake symbol sewn into the sleeves that were rolled up to his elbows, once he walked around the counter to shake my hand, I glanced down at his pants and belt. I was unaware of what the red tape meant. He shook my hand quickly. “Boy, first, you need to learn how to shake a hand.” I looked down at both our hands, realizing I was only grabbing the tip of his fingers. I kept my silence, looking back up at him. He adjusted my hand, making it to where our thumbs were right next to each other. “Now, shake. Like, a man!” I shook his hand quickly, looking back up at him. “. . . We’ll work on it.” He mumbled, making my father laugh. “What size is Herr Herich?” He looked down at me like I was some child- though i was, I never acted like one. My father quickly spoke my size, though, I could tell he didn’t like the way this instructor was treating me, either. “How old are you?” The man asked as he searched through the endless piles of white uniforms. “14.” My father said for me, causing me to rub my eyes. “Mm.. adult class, then.” I heard the man mumble as if his vibe for me had completely changed after hearing my age. I knew I looked younger than I truly was, maybe 10 or 11 from the way I dressed. “Here. Change. I’ll show you how to tie a belt like a /boy./” His words made my blood boil, though I grabbed the outfit and walked to the bathroom, changing. I took off my hat, revealing my blonde hair, my blue eyes staring at myself in a white gi and white pants. I soon walked out, the man who I found out was named Herr Otto, tying my belt. The lesson quickly started, I watched him as he pulled out two punching bags. “Herich, here.” He ordered, making me walk over to the bag. “Fists up, lift up your knee then kick!” He said quickly, causing me to lift up my fists to my chin and lift up my knee, flinging out my leg. I hit my toes against the bag, causing my dad who was sitting in the chairs to laugh quietly as I pulled my foot down back to the mat. “Two things, left foot forward, and pull your toes back.” Herr Otto corrected me, causing me to nod quickly. I put my left foot forward, put my fists to my chin with my elbows tucked to my side, lifted up my knee and kicked, pulling my toes back. This time, the bag flew back, but, didn’t fall. I looked up at my instructor, he was nodding in approval. As the lesson past, he discussed with my dad financial issues. My dad admitted, he didn’t know if this was the right place and if he could even pay for the high price of $120 a month. We were low class.

When we got home, he looked at the small paper that said what place german boys like me should go, with a grin, he looked at me, laughing at himself. “We went to the wrong place.” He laughed. “Herich!” I heard my other say with laughter from the kitchen, her dyed blonde curls bouncing right below her ears, poorly clipped together. “Come on, Krista, that is something you would do.” My father replied, making me laugh and finally talk for the first time today. “That is a dad thing for sure.” My brother and sister, sitting next to me, laughed, too. 

The next day, my dad gave the uniform back to Herr Otto and I thanked him for teaching me the few basics he had, though all I received was an eyeroll followed by an inaudible mumble that made me shake my head and walk back to my father’s truck. “Had it gone well?” His german accent rang out as he started his truck, the truck sputtering for a moment, causing his hand to slam onto the dashboard. “Come on, start up!” My dad shouted at his truck, making it start. “It went fine.” I finally replied, smiling softly as he began driving to my original martial arts place.


	2. Chapter 2

As we walked in, I felt adrenaline shoot through my veins as I looked ahead of me, benches were right beside the mats and there was a desk right next to the door with things spread all over it, large sets of uniforms, belts, gear, and t-shirts right behind it in perfectly organized piles. “Hi!” I heard a cheerful voice call from behind the desk, making me turn my head and look over at where the voice was coming from. “I’m Ingrid.” The blonde said cheerfully, her red lips curved into a smile, she had clearly put too much lipstick on that morning, I couldn’t imagine what it’s like to be her lips. Chapped, dry, and treated badly. I looked up from her lips and into her brown eyes. “Herich.” I shook her hand above the desk, the smile on her lips a little too forced. I looked at her blue uniform, wondering why there was tape on the collar and also why it was even blue in general. “I’ll get your uniform, Herr Herich!” My eyes squinted when she practically called me Mr. Herich, but, I trusted her bubbly personality. “Okay!” I said with half enthusiasm. “While I talk to your dad, why don’t you go downstairs and watch the class that’s about to begin?” Ingrid asked. I nodded my head okay and began walking downstairs. I was surprised at what I saw, I saw four men instructing the class. I wondered why even four men, but, I soon figured it out. As I sat back and watched one of them kicking a bag and showing a boy with a purple belt wrapped around his waist, tied perfectly, how to do a round-kick. “Looks easy, doesn’t it?” I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard a dark yet manly voice from my side. “I’m Ali Peter, that guy doin the sidekick? He’s Wolfgang, that guy with brown hair is Sig, and the other is Hermann.” Ali spoke, patting my back. “Come, the class is ending early.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the mat, showing me everything I needed to. 

For awhile, I didn’t know how to do a sidekick correctly. I had to pull my knee to my chest, not my heel to my butt. Though, for the next few weeks I felt better and muscles began forming slowly on my forearms, making me look more tough though I was only a white belt. One day, as I walked into the building, i was told to go downstairs with the boys instead of the girls. I looked at Ingrid who seemed sad, but, I just tried smiling. Though, her lipstick was only one layer, she still didn’t smile. She looked down, hiding her face as i walked downstairs, looking down at the belt wrapped around my white gi. It seemed like the atmosphere changed darker when I walked downstairs, the boys seemed upset and for once Kristel was down there, trying to smile as she looked up at me, waving. I waved back, taking off my hat and setting it down on the bench as I took a knee near the back of the mat, my hands resting on my knee as I watched the class finish up. Wolfgang walked over, sighing. “You’re the only one today..” he mumbled sadly, causing me to nod as I slowly began to grasp onto why everything was so dark in the building. Everyone was beginning to leave. “It’s your birthday today, isn’t it?” He asked as he began to walk towards the desk where a box with birthday styled wrapping laid on. It was my birthday, May 11th. As I stood up, I nodded with a smile. He came back, the instructors beginning to gather around as I knew I probably would not be doing much learning today and more celebrating, which I was fine with since I had all my stripes I needed for my first test. “Go ahead, open it, Herich. From all of us.” Ali said, his dark voice more sad and droopy. I looked up at Ingrid and saw that the forced smile on her face that I had seen a 4 weeks ago wouldn’t even appear from how sad she was. I nodded, looking down. I began unwrapping the wrap, opening up the box with a knife, making sure not to poke anything inside. My eyes went wide with shock when I saw wraps in a secure little see through box and all the gear I needed for sparring inside. “It isn’t much, but-” Hermann began to say, my excited yelps interrupted as I looked up. “Danke! I appreciate it so much.” I continued to ramble after that about how thankful I was and how much I wanted these boxing gloves. “I was walking past you down the street and saw you eyeing those gloves and wraps through a window, and, I bought them for you and waited for your birthday. I didn’t even touch them once besides whenever I put the wraps in the box and the gloves in the box.. I-I… I made sure they stayed in good shape.” Ali said with a proud smile of satisfaction that he had possibly done something right today, or made someone happy, maybe that’s just a guess from me and his proud smile was just to cover his weak spots. I stopped thinking about it, and, for the rest of the day, even at the fancy dinner my mother had created for me, just me, the thought managed to push its way into my brain on why everyone was so upset.

Tests passed, and, I was soon a yellow belt by July, I had boot camp in martial arts and hardly any basics had come to visit. I was given the chance to use my gloves, with the look of shock from the other students that I had better gloves than they did, specifically from the instructors, they found it even more amusing to watch me land perfect punches on the bag. 

I had been a green belt by the end of belt advancement camp, in the middle of the week I had tested for my yellow belt, the belt advancement camp making sure I received another belt, my intermediate belt.

 

On the first day of my intermediate class, there was only two other kids and by now, I had been used to the small amount of people in my class at this point and the usual three instructors that showed up, only one really staying to watch us anymore, the other two talking with parents, trying to convince them not to leave and that they could lower the $50 a month down to $30 a month. My jaw clenched and eyes squeezed every time I heard a ‘I found someone else’ or ‘this will be my child’s last class.’ But, I knew my parents would never say that, they had no say in it, I always found a way to have them pay for my classes or I pay for my classes each month. “Punch it, Herich!” I heard Sigg shout at me, causing my wrapped knuckles to punch the bag harshly, imagining it as someone I hated or thinking about things that made my blood boil. When the bag flew back just from a punch, I stood there in shock. “What do you even think about when punching? God..” he said, followed by something in german that I didn’t understand. I just let awkward yet nervous laughter leave my lips as he set it back up. 

The fact I had punched a bag with a right cross made me think about what I was capable of. Had I truly done that? Punched a bag so hard that it fell? After all, I really only was a 5’5 120 pound boy. At dinner that night, we had only sandwiches though I knew one day I would get more than that because I truly felt like I would earn money for this family with the martial arts career I was going to start. “You still fightin?” My father’s friend asked as we had invited a guest over as he poured wine into his cup glass. I thought about what to say, since I couldn’t say it all. “Yeah, I actually punched over a bag with a right cross.” The way I said it made it sound like a lie, causing my whole family to laugh, except my dad’s friend. He didn’t laugh at all, in fact he looked at me and smiled wide. “Lemme show you a little something!” He said as he grabbed his wallet, pulling out a picture of two young men in a red uniform with a brown belt around their waist. “You see that young man right there?” He asked, pointing to the boy on the left. I nodded, looking back up at him. “That’s me.” His reply to my nod made my eyes go wide as I took the picture out of his hand. I examined it, then looked at the other boy who looked exactly like me. I could only tell it was brown because I knew it wasn’t a black belt, since it was darker and I knew he was not a black belt. “The other looks like me!” I spoke with shock, handing him back the picture and looking up at him. “He’s your father, we used to go to martial arts together.” He replied, putting the picture back in his wallet. “Reminds me of the good times when we didn’t go through all this nazi stuff.” When he said the words, my father’s head shot up from his thighs. “. . . Don’t say that in front of the boy!” He said after a moment of awkward silence that I thought would last an eternity. The same awkward silence came but ended after my father’s friend finally spoke, his voice rising. “He should know what’s going on! Why there are swastikas hanging around germany and why you’re hiding the newspapers away from him!” He continued to ramble on and on, but, the first two sentences were the ones I focused on the most and they began to make me think. I didn’t know why the red, white, and black swastikas were hung around the city, all over in fact. The family sat in silence, my mother and sister’s hands in their lap as they stared down at their lap sadly, hating the argumentative words exchanged between the two men before the slam of the front door could be heard. “Hate men like that! Does he got a brain?!” My father shouted, slamming his fists onto the dining table out of anger. I went to bed without a single sentence from my father stating he was proud that I had done good in martial arts and even when I made an attempt to talk about it, all I received was an interruption about how angry he was at his friend. Or my friend, now.

Soon, December came and Christmas was right around the corner, making my whole martial arts school to light up with christmas themed things. “Herich!” I finally heard Ali’s real happy voice come out. “We all got you another present, but, we have to take you to it. Now. Only a walk away, Herich.” Ali said as all the instructors came over. By now, I’d been a brown belt, coming everyday and staying for hours straight, I had received my belt on my own and tested for my belt on my own. I’d never been outside of my martial arts building with my instructors before, it would be interesting. “You can change into some normal clothes.” Sigg said with a confident smile as I ran off and dressed in my usual sleeveless black t-shirt and black gym shorts. Ingrid was carrying what seemed to be a gym bag that was full with things that I didn’t know about, I couldn’t see anything inside clearly. I walked towards the door, my instructors following behind me. Soon, Ali was the one leading the way and as we approached a large building with faint letters on it that I couldn’t see, I looked at them in confusion though they just looked back with a wide grin spread on their faces. “What is t-” I tried to talk but my question had been interrupted with Wolfgang pulling me in by my arm. As soon as we walked in, my stomach sank at the sight. “We signed you up for a tournament!” Ingrid said with a little too much enthusiasm. I didn’t know what to say, I was scared, happy, nervous. Most of all, I felt happy that my instructors thought I was good enough for a tournament. I didn’t think the same.

We soon entered the locker room and Sigg handed me a robe that professional martial artists wore within the ring and took off when the round was gonna begin. I put it on and he handed me trunks with the company name across it. “Are you ready? Oh, and, if you lose these rounds I will make sure you don’t enter any other rounds as our school, by the way? Keep those fists up. I taught you about footwork.” Sigg spat, he made it nice, somehow. I just nodded okay. “Get rid of that shy attitude, you need to go in there confident! This stuff is gonna be on the TV sets!” Wolfgang shouted as he patted my back. I laughed, I didn’t know who I was fighting, but, I had the mindset I was told to have. 

I waited to be called out after I signed myself in, once I was, I ran out and noticed the crowd had filled up to where it was holding at least 3,000 people, that didn’t help. Neither did the cameras, I still kept my confidence, however. I jumped into the ring and stayed by my corner, watching the other guy run in and jump in the ring, flexing his muscles by his corner in front of everyone, I could see the fear in his eyes, he wasn’t coming in confident. As I stood up, squeezing my gloves that perfectly fit my hands currently. I was much smaller than him, our weight was the same and that was how we were in this competition at all. Once the bell rang signing the bell rang, my eyes stayed glued on him as I stood on my toes. He began dancing around the ring in bunny hops though all I did was move around, keeping my eyes on him and the way he moved. I saw how slowly he chambered his punches, causing me to easily dodge them, I luckily stayed on the inside, Sigg said that was one thing I had to do, it would be easier to corner him and when you corner him, you have all the room and time to cause a knockout. As I moved around on my toes, I made it to where he only had a tight space to move around in, moving wherever he went to move to, causing him to slowly back into the corner of the ring. I could imagine what the radio broadcasters must have been saying- screaming how I had him cornered. I sent 3 jabs towards his face to knock him off guard, then multiple right crosses, one right in the jaw that sent him back to the ground, causing the ref to run down, counting up to ten. We both walked to the middle of the ring, Sigg and Ali next to me. The ref was in the middle with the announcer of who would win behind us. “The one who will be going home tonight as young lightweight champion of Berlin Germany is….” We both waited patiently as he opened the card, taking out a paper. “HERICH PETER!” 

After that win, I met eyes with my crush, yes, I have a crush though when I stepped foot into her room I saw posters that weren’t hers, her dolls were gone and her posters used to have america’s map on it and the thought of how much she changed made me feel something come up my throat. “Sad sight, eh?” Her father came from behind me, looking at the hitler youth uniforms with me. All that came from my throat was a soft groan with agreement. “What do you love about her?” His question made me think. There wasn’t one thing about her I would change, if she was hitler youth then that was the thing I loved the least about her. “It’s not just one thing, it’s everything, you know?” I spoke, glancing at him. I saw a nod of satisfaction before I looked forward again. “Come, sit, I can make you tea.” Her father offered, making me shake my head. “I cannot be here for long, she will be back from the bathroom soon and I will tell her goodbye.” I said sternly, but, a smile formed on my lips as I looked back at him, turning around. 

My record was playing in my room, it was a gift from Sigg that I appreciated, it was for winning. I had said bye to my lovely crush, Fiona, sometime ago, and, as I took a breath in while laying back, the record scratching meaning it was close to the ending of a perfectly good song. I stood up, putting in a new record and grabbing my boxing gloves, tugging them on as I looked at myself in the mirror. I had grown stronger, tougher. My body was still small, but, the muscles that lined my upper arm and chest now, weren’t there before. I felt my heart sink to my stomach at the sight, I didn’t know why I felt so upset with myself for forcing a change on myself like this. It felt right.


	3. Chapter 3

My eyes slowly opened to the sound of loud shouting from outside my family and I’s apartment and loud stomping on the streets and sidewalks of boots. I slowly sat up, my sister and brother standing at the door with a look of fear. “Herich, why don’t you go do something? You’re strong and tough compared to the hitler youth boys.” Bruno’s words had me think, though I quickly shook my head and stood up. “That couldn’t possibly be the hitler youth, could it, ma?” I asked my mother who was sitting at the table with a mug in her hand, what I was guessing could be iced tea. “Go look.” Her voice was dreadful, her blonde curls dark and not as bouncy. I didn’t bother asking about where dad was, he was probably out on a business run. I opened the door, feeling my eyes tear up. I pulled my siblings close, it wasn’t hitler youth. It was nazi’s, and, a man was walking in the front and I refused to believe it was really hitler. “Who is that, Herich?” Bruno asked, I shushed him, my jaw clenching as tears dripped down my cheeks. I hated what germany had turned into. I wish Bruno and Alia knew what it was like for me when I was their age, not this. They deserve better. I licked my chap lips with my tongue before shutting the door. As I kept them held close to my side, I walked upstairs. “Go to your rooms, I have to go talk to ma, yeah?” I said, smiling. “We can play with little Henry when I get back, hm?” I asked with a smile. That sent the two children up the stairs happily. I turned around, seeing two nazi men with a uniform, causing me to step back up the stairs. “NO!” I could hear my mother scream, I wish I could scream the same, but, I was stripped out of my clothes and forced into a uniform. “MARCH.” The german screamed, causing me to look at my mother sadly before stumbling out the door. I hope my mother plays with little Henry with Aria and Bruno.

I was walking down in the big group, my arm raised with my fingers together, my other arm strictly to my side as my left knee raised and fell, my right knee immediately coming up. Then repeating. I hated the feeling of this, though I knew if I protested against it and left, I would be declared a red and arrested, possibly worse. So, I continued marching, my arm growing tired and beginning to wiggle, the other boys seemed to have their arm perfectly straight, not even close to tired. The marching was over by at least midnight and we were sent back to our homes. I struggled to find my way home, as I didn’t know where I was. I got home, walking in. “Herich’s home! Herich’s home!” I heard Bruno say repeatedly, causing me to bend down to him with the widest smile possible, even though it was forced. I noticed Aria wasn’t there, which made me immediately ask about it. “Where’s lil baby Aria?” I asked. “And where’s ma?” I also asked, noticing mother hadn’t been sitting at the table she normally had and dinner wasn’t made. Bruno’s face turned pale and I could see the tears appear on the edge of his eyes. “Daddy’s home…” He said, ignoring the question though I kept my patience with him, unable to guess even near what he would say. “Bruno, answer my question.” I asked more in a stern voice, causing him to look down. “These really big men came in and took Aria and mommy.” I felt my whole world go crashing down. “They were wearing a uniform like the one you are wearing.” Bruno eyed my uniform up and down, causing me to immediately begin pulling off the swastika arm band on my uniform. “I didn’t want to wear it, Bruno..” I sighed, I couldn’t cry in front of my little brother. No matter how hard I wanted to. “Come, let’s go play with Henry.” I grabbed his hand, walking up the stairs and into my room.

As the night ended, I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking about why they took my german mother and sister. Had they been /red?/ Was it when my mother didn’t have a good reaction to me being forced to march? It made me think all night, and, my brother knew nothing about it. He believed they were just at the store, but, it was doubtful my brother even would believe me by the next morning. My alarm went off, signaling that I have to get Bruno ready for school and take him, however, I wasn’t going to school that day. Just boxing all day would be nice, and that was my choice. “Bruno..” I gently knocked on the doorway, causing his sleepy head to lift up. I was tired, too, considering I didn’t get a single solid minute of sleep due to the recent events. I slid my hands in my sweatpants pockets, not knowing how tired I really looked. Bruno slowly sat up, he usually would jump up then fall over since he got up a bit too quick. He didn’t this time, and I could see the sadness in his eyes when he saw it wasn’t his mother standing at the door to take Bruno and Aria to school. I sighed softly, mixed with a yawn. “Where’s /my/ mum?” The words stuck out, specifically my. I ignored it, smiling forcefully. “Her and Aria are staying with Aunt Maria.” I lied, he just nodded. He opened his drawer, causing it to creek. I walked out and downstairs, sitting at the table with my head in my hands. I looked up, seeing a notebook labeled ‘BRUNO’ on it. I knew well what it was and that I shouldn’t have been so nosey, I found my hand slowly moving towards it. I tried to stop myself, but, the book was soon opened on the first entry. 

Dear Journal,

Foolishly, I don’t say diary, that is for girls, isn’t it? Today, my brother, Herich, and I went to the park without Aria, she didn’t want to go and I didn’t quite know why. She just wasn’t having a good day, I believe. Herich let me go down the slide millions of times though when a lot of men came marching down the street with their right arm raised with their fingers together, following a volkswagen, I think that was the car that hitler created. I don’t know. Herich seemed to grab my hand and stand still, the colour draining from his face. It confused me. Why did he look like he was gonna puke? Was he sick? He grabbed my hand but I jerked it away, I didn’t wanna get sick. I had to meet with Lana tomorrow and go to the sandbox.   
Herich is acting more odd, he is listening to different music. His music is absolutely horrid, it sounds like nothing I’ve heard. The guitar sounds weird and the drumming is heavy. The singer’s voice is not as… calm and soothing as the other singers I have heard before. I haven’t heard worse than his music. My ears practically bleed from the horrid screams the singer does. I must go.

-Bruno

I wasn’t offended, and, I remember that day more detailed than he did. I shut the notebook, sighing. I stood up, going to Bruno’s room. “Bruno, come, you’re gonna be late.” I scowled, sounding like my dad when he hadn’t had coffee, but I needed it. I would drop by Kristoball’s house and have him make coffee for me after dropping off Bruno at school. I found myself instead walking into a bar, the scent of alcohol making my nose twitch. “Drink… drink… drink…” i heard a voice whisper in the back of my head, causing me to walk to the bartender.


	4. Chapter 4

I was the big brother my siblings looked up to, even sometimes my father and mother would look up to me, proud that their son hadn’t been in the hitler youth though I was a german with a heavy yet obvious accent the nazis weren’t oblivious to. They were proud their son had been taking care of himself, staying true to himself, to his family. My father hadn’t been back in so long since mother disappeared, I found myself hopeless with just me and Bruno. 

As my eyes opened slowly, I looked up to see a somewhat average heighted man standing above me. It took me a moment for my vision to clear as I saw who it was; it was Wolfgang. I wondered why he was here, at a bar, but, given the way he was perceived as by the other instructors and students, even his looks in general, I let my surprise float away. I sat up, putting my hand to my head quickly when I felt a migraine kick in. “You took that stuff like a champ,” he said, pausing for a moment to hand me a ice pack, putting it in the hand I had been holding to my head. I looked at him with a smirk, it faded away when something stinged my lip and my eye. “I didn’t mean the alcohol, I meant the beating!” Wolfgang laughed, causing me to fly up from my seat and run to the window to see my reflection. I stumbled back when I felt the migraine shoot through my head once again, I had long enough to see my busted lip, possibly broken nose, big black eye that managed to stretch out to my cheek, and I knew one of my fingers had probably been broken. I walked back to Wolfgang while he told me to take it easy. I set down the icepack, sitting down with a sigh. “I’m not surprised that happened, yanno.” I grumble as he hands me medicine and a glass of water. I downed the pill with the water, sighing. “Let’s take you home, yeah?” Wolfgang offered, causing me to stand up and setting down the water. I nodded and as we walked out of the bar, the door slamming the door shut behind us. I heard a rustle in the bush, causing us both to look at each other then at the bush. I slowly walked over to the bush, my combat boots knocking against the concrete loudly from how heavy they were. I jumped back as a water balloon full of yellow liquid went straight past my head, missing just an inch away from my face, crushing against the sidewalk. My eyes went wide and so did Wolfgang’s when the horrid smell filled the air. Urine. We covered our faces with our jackets which wasn’t the best idea but there was nothing else to protect us from the urine and poop. We both began running while the water balloons- or poop and pee balloons came our way. I knew who was the one that had been doing it, and Wolfgang had, too. 

We screamed profanity and most things in german as we ran, the jew by the bush laughing as he continued throwing the balloons at us. Once we were safe and walked into the martial arts unit covered in odd substances, we set down our jackets, getting odd glances. Sigg came running over, sending a strong glare at Wolfgang then a slight glance at me but quickly looked at our jackets, sighing. “I’m not cleaning that up, I’m making Hermann do it..” I heard him grumble under his breath to himself, wondering why he didn’t make us do it. 

Wolfgang and I took turns to take the shower in the locker room, once I got in the shower, I took my time to 1. Be a jerk and 2. Because, I need this moment of just privacy and being comfortable. I washed my hair and whole body deeply, then waited in the shower for a while, calmly. I got out about 40 minutes later and I knew it was too long that I had been in there and I used all the cold water for the next few days, I didn’t care. I dried myself off, combed my hair, and threw on jeans, my combat boots, and a black tucked in shirt. I had my hair styled in a way no one else at the time had it styled, when I walked out I heard whistles towards me followed by Ali going ‘WOO!’ before running towards me, making me smile. “Tryna get all the ladies, huh, Herr Herich?” I laughed when he said ‘herr’, when you said it in the building, everyone laughed because it was just ironic. I ran my fingers through my damp, styled hair, leaning my head to the side. “Definitely, Ali, definitely.” I let my thumbs rest in my belt hoops, looking Ali’s gi up and down before back up at him, our smiles fading as we both let out sighs like always. Conversations usually ended like this and a moment of silence would erupt before Hermann would come in, yelling about how he is a black belt and still, doesn’t know how to tie his belt. And he did.

“I’M A STUPID BLACK BELT AND I CAN’T TIE THE STUPID THING!” He shouted in german, walking in with his belt in hand angrily. “Join boxing, won’t you!” I shouted back at him in german, making him glare at me with his eyes squinted. “No, all the jews are in boxing and I’m a german! Imagine if I had to spar with one, yeah, got you there, didn’t I, Peter?” He complained, making Wolfgang and I laugh, our eyes rolling as he continued complaining about something we truly didn’t care about. 

I walked towards him, tying his belt for him. “I’m a brown belt and have to do this for you, a sixth degree black belt. I find that absolutely hard to believe.” I muttered under my breath, not getting a response of course other than just an exaggerated groan. I finished, patting his back. “You know, we got testing in a few days here, Herich..” Hermann said with a hum as I sat down on my knees. “I know.” I lied, truly, I didn’t know testing had been within a few days, it didn’t help knowing I wasn’t doing my exercises and practices at home, if the place I lived in really was home anymore. “When is it then?” He snarled, causing me to snap at him in pure anger. “You calling me a liar, Hermann? I know when it freakin’ is, don’t be such a-” I didn’t continue because Sigg had to come in and stop me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Calm down..” Sigg said softly, causing me to nod calmly, even if I really was not as calm as my face expressed. He grabbed me by my shoulder roughly and pulled me by the front door. “What is your problem? Snapping like that isn’t an everyday for you! Maybe for Ali, but, not you.” He was right, but, something that had been bothering me badly lately was Ingrid’s disappearance. She had been gone for the past couple of months without word to anyone, possibly Sigg or Wolfgang, however, things had seemed tense between Ingrid, Ali, and Hermann in July. It is now September. I looked Sigg straight in the eye then looked away, seeing Ali coming over before I looked at Sigg and stood on my toes to be as tall as him and growled loudly yet angrily about the problem. 

“You fired Ingrid, didn’t you?” And I saw Ali froze from the corner of my eye. I could see Sigg’s face turn white like he’d seen a ghost. The confidence in him he always had disappeared and when he always held his head high, he looked down at his shoes and suddenly, I didn’t have to stand on my toes anymore. He was scared. 

“Listen, Ingrid, we are in debt!” Sigg shouted, Ali standing in the corner and watching with his eyes wide. “This means a lot to the boy, his black belt with his name would mean so much to him, you don’t understand him, Sigg!” Ingrid shouted back, trying to get louder, however, Sigg shot back with a word that made the girl practically feel like a five year old being shouted at that she is grounded from her toy. “SHUT UP OR I’M FIRING YOU!” Ingrid stumbled to her office, shutting the door quietly, she struggled to even turn the doorknob from how bad she was shaking. 

The memory replayed through my head and Ali slowly stepped over to my side, hugging me. “That isn’t what happened..” Sigg said softly. Sigg sat Ali and I down like children, Ali sitting in butterfly stretch position, messing with his toes and looking at Sigg. “Tell us the story.” I managed to mumble. Sigg nodded before beginning to explain what happened from the beginning. “I’m sure you remember where we started getting less and less customers for a few months, we became very poor from it, I couldn’t wash my clothes because I couldn’t pay for my maid. My family and I ate bread for dinner almost every night, it was horrible.” He paused, clicking his tongue. “Her and I had been on the mat after class and I yelled at her to shut up or I’m firing her because she wanted to get a black belt with.. Someone’s name.” He had paused again but this time, he thought he had said something he shouldn’t of, he continued. “Ingrid quit that day. And it was all my fault.” His voice trembled like he would cry, when Ali hugged him tightly, whispering on and on about why it wasn’t his fault. I sat there, shocked. It could have been worse, I had to find Ingrid now. She needed to come back.


	5. Chapter 5

Lately, martial arts hasn’t been normal. The atmosphere seems darker and the music they play on the record player has become darker, the mat becoming vacant. Wolfgang hasn’t been showing up a lot lately, and, Hermann is shoving himself in his office and driving to ‘get food’ but we all know he’s not going to get food since he never comes back with food and his stomach is grumbling. 

“Herich!” My father calls, making me run down the stairs and to the living room where he sat on the couch. “Leave.” My father said, next to Bruno. My eyebrows furrowed. “What?” I asked, confused. “GET OUT OF MY HOME!” His fists slammed on the table and in confusion I dashed upstairs and grabbed my things, putting them in a bag. I ran downstairs. “Papa- what do you-” He shoved me out before I could say a thing. 

I stumble down the streets of Berlin, my ankle aching in pain, causing me to drag my foot and avoid walking on it. I took a careful step each time, groaning in pain when I accidentally pressed too much pressure on my ankle. It felt like a cramp that I couldn’t get rid of, except more painful. I knew where Wolfgang lived, and, I had a great bond with him, even though I felt he was slightly strict at times. At first, I was terrified of him, more terrified of him than I was of Ali, however, the only thing that scared me about Ali was his physical features. He was possibly 5’9 or 5’10, me being only 5’4. His hair was dark and spiked, his neck and arms dotted in tattooes. The only reason he worked at the gym was because his tattoos were appropriate, he also looked tough. But, his personality has always been cheerful and helpful.   
Wolfgang, is the opposite of Ali. Wolfgang is at least 6’2, his hair is bright blonde, he also is a higher belt than Ali is, surprisingly. His personality is more on the strict side, in the gym, outside of the gym he lets himself go. 

When I arrive at the door, I notice my scraped hand was bleeding and my face was bleeding from torn skin. Wolfgang wouldn’t be happy when opening the door. Once he did after it took me ten minutes to even get the courage to knock, his eyes went wide. He stood there, in sweatpants and a grey shirt. Without word, he dragged me in by my wrist, taking me to the kitchen. He laid me back against the counter, throwing the dishes onto the ground, causing the glass to shatter, he didn’t seem to care. I felt three presences come in, I heard them gasp. “Herich!” I recognized the voice immediately. I saw Sigg. We’d ended on bad terms, he still cared that I was hurt. He ran out of the kitchen, coming back within seconds. “Didn’t know you buds had a little friend group without me..” I choked out, laughing softly. “Don’t talk, you’re hurt worse than you think, can you even taste blood coming from your mouth?” Ali was here, too, and when I heard his concerned voice, I looked over, shaking my head. I couldn’t even feel anything, and, now, I couldn’t remember anything before I arrived there. “Why am I here again?” I asked, trying to sit up and I heard a whimper. It sounded like Wolfgang. He pushed me back roughly. “Stay back.” I nodded and he lifted my shirt up, bandaging an apparent stab wound. I was confused, I didn’t remember getting stabbed. “What do you think happened?” Ali whispered to Hermann, Ali whispered too loud. I’d heard him whisper to Wolfgang and Sigg at a time in class, he’d cussed and thought I didn’t hear, I didn’t care either, it was surprising to hear him swear. “The nazis probably thought he was a jew walking past curfew.” Hermann whispered back. I tried not to listen. “He’s german.” Ali said a bit louder. “I know, he isn’t blonde and blue eyes, to the nazis, if you have dark hair and dark eyes like he does, you’re screwed. He’s lucky he only got beat, though he came to the right place.” Hermann sighed. “Are we gonna do what we did with Wolfgang?” Sigg asked, looking down at me. “Do what?” I chimed in. Sigg looked away, ignoring my question. I huff, causing Wolfgang to smack my hand. “Don’t do that, slow and steady breathing.” Wolfgang snapped. I laid back, not replying because he may smack me again for replying. I take slow and steady breaths, before I find myself falling asleep, hearing the boys run to me quickly, screaming for me to stay awake. 

I couldn’t.


	6. SECTION 2

When I saw his eyes shut, I let out a loud shriek. Herich wasn’t dying on me now, not for a long time. He’s only 15. I swallowed a thick lump in my throat, my hands shaking as I continued trying to help him. Nothing worked. “We are bringing him to the hospital now!” Sigg snapped, though he knew that I had things against hospitals. I didn’t protest, I just nodded, moving my bloody hands away from Herich’s barely working body. We dragged him to the volkswagen in our driveway, throwing him in the back. I had to be the one to drive him there with Sigg in the passenger’s seat. 

In the waiting room, we waited hours, and on the sixth hour we had been there still with no news. I had my elbows resting on my knees with my head in my hands, my hands shaking. His brother had arrived, telling me what had happened. Herich’s father kicked him out for being involved in such a dangerous sport that martial arts was. My blood boiled, why didn’t I know that Herich had a bad home life? I could have done something. My fingers curled, causing my fingernails to rest right above my eyebrows, my palms practically glued to my forehead now. Sigg pat my back. “It’s okay, Wolf.. you’re gonna be okay..” Sigg tried comforting me and even though he was just trying to help, I looked up at him with an angry look. This angry look was the look I knew well Sigg hated, it showed the hatred in my own eyes. It wasn’t going to be okay and if he was just trying to make me feel better so I would toughen up, and, I felt he was, then he knew it wasn’t going to be alright. When I saw his eyes, however, I knew he wasn’t. He was trying to convince himself that it was going to be okay. That our former student, was going to be alright. I looked away, feeling something like food come up my throat. It was a choking sob in reality. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I kept my eyes covered with my palms and my elbows still rested in the same place, nothing could silence my cries now. Sigg pat my back. “Wolfgang… don’t make it bad, he’s gonna be alright.” The story could never end here. Herich, my best friend, and student, was going to be alright. 

As soon as we were called, Sigg and I shot up from our seats in the green waiting room, looking at the doctor. “You may come and..” My world froze, and, the wait for him to say the next word took long to me. Was he going to say goodbyes? Or was he going to say that we could come in and visit him? I hoped for the second option. It was going to be the second option, we would make it work. Finally, when he said the words I had been waiting for, I actually froze. “Go to my office.” My shoulders dropped like a weight was on my shoulders was thrown back on after being lifted off for a split second. Sigg and I followed to his office and as soon as we sat down, he threw a large stack of paperwork in front of us. “Fill these out, please.” And he gave us a pen. After a long period of time, Sigg and I finished it. I looked at Sigg, then back at the doctor, us both pushing the papers towards him. He stuffed it into a large folder, his chubby hands blocking the way to even get it in the folder, making Sigg and I look at each other, trying not to laugh at such a horrible time. “What is so fooney?” His accent made the word ‘funny’ sound strange. We straightened up our faces, clearing our throats at the exact same time. “Your… son?” He looked to me. I shook my head. “An honor, but, no, I am his..” I paused. “Brother.” I smiled. Sigg looked over at me. I kicked him in the leg, causing him to hiss in a sharp breath. “And, you?” The doctor looked at Sigg, his eyelids sagging so low that it looked like he was about to fall asleep. “Brother.” Sigg replied, making him look at both of us. “Aryan.. Jew..-” The doctor began to mumble. “He has aryan blood, sir.” I growled, with the angry face that even made Sigg scared. “Yes, yes.” The doctor said quietly. “Your /brother/ is going to be fine other than the-” He paused, making me snap. “Other than the what?” The doctor continued within seconds. “His wrist is broken along with his ankle, he will need to take medication such as tylenol or morphine will even work, though, he may be loopy. His stab wound was right by the heart, he will need heart surgery on one of the veins, he will be fine in all, however.” As soon as he finished, I grabbed my wallet, giving him all the money I had. I emptied my pockets, handing it over to him. “This is all I have.” I stuttered. Sigg gasped, looking at me. “Wolfgang-” the doctor grinned, interrupting Sigg. “That’s all you need!” He laughed. His laugh made my ears twitch, I knew he was italian immediately. His dark skin, dark laugh, his funny accent, I knew it immediately. I swallowed hard, shaking. I had paid off the hospital bills, too. We were sent back to the waiting room and had to wait four days until we got news. All I had was water. I did not feel the need of eating, I did not even want to leave the room. My skin was pale, large bags under my eyes, I had probably lost 20 pounds already. I stood up when our name was called. ¨Sir, you need to eat first-” I ignored it. ¨What room is he in?¨ Sigg growled, the doctor mumbling shamefully Herich´s room number. Satisfied, I quickly rush to the room, running in. ¨Hey.¨ Herich said in his normally cheerful voice though it was horse, and fake.

My lips went dry and all the spit that I didn't know that had collected in my mouth went sour. I swallowed the lump in my throat, my eyes narrowing at him with distaste. He looked different with tubes going up his nose and on his forearm. ¨Didn´t know the whole party was coming..¨ He chuckled dryly, making me laugh, looking down with tears threatening to spill from my eyes. And, now, was the time that I knew I really did care for one of my students that had arrived only a year ago. I saw all of Herich and I´s memories flash and I saw them all detailed. I looked up at him. He was talking with Sigg and smiling forcefully. He was missing his two front teeth and it didn't look so good, I should have helped him was what I thought to myself. I grabbed my hoodie, tugging it over myself. I left. Herich called after me and so did Sigg, but, I hid my eyes and ran outside. The winter weather hit me immediately but did not stop me from marching down the sidewalk with tears streaming down my face. I felt like Herich wouldn't be okay even though I swore to myself that he would. My jaw clenched as men and women tried asking me constantly if I was okay. in. ¨Hey.¨ Herich said in his normally cheerful voice though it was horse, and fake, he was not happy.   
My lips went dry and all the spit that I didn't know that had collected in my mouth went sour. I swallowed the lump in my throat, my eyes narrowing at him with distaste. He looked different with tubes going up his nose and on his forearm. ¨Didn´t know the whole party was coming..¨ He chuckled dryly, making me laugh, looking down with tears threatening to spill from my eyes. And, now, was the time that I knew I really did care for one of my students that had arrived only a year ago. I saw all of Herich and I´s memories flash and I saw them all detailed. I looked up at him. He was talking with Sigg and smiling forcefully. He was missing his two front teeth and it didn't look so good, I should have helped him was what I thought to myself. I grabbed my hoodie, tugging it over myself. I left. Herich called after me and so did Sigg, but, I hid my eyes and ran outside. The winter weather hit me immediately but did not stop me from marching down the sidewalk with tears streaming down my face. I felt like Herich wouldn't be okay even though I swore to myself that he would. My jaw clenched as men and women tried asking me constantly if I was okay.


	7. Chapter 7

Weeks have passed since I have even left my house, and, things have only spiraled down. Sigg, Hermann, and Ali have tried coming and visiting me, though I never opened the door. I have not shaved in a long time, music and a bit of water and food has what I have been living off of for now. ¨One… two… three…” I heard a voice from outside the door, I didn't flinch. I knew they would do this eventually. My head lifted up to face Herich, he had kicked down the door. I saw his face turn pale from my looks, truthfully, I never looked myself in the mirror anymore. Herich grabbed my hand, making me stand up, he had been taller than me now. I fell instantly, or almost did, but, he swung one of my arms around his shoulders as I drug my feet. He dragged me to the same old volkswagen that Sigg always had, that he would also probably keep for the following years to come. ¨Oh my god… ẄOLFGANG!” Sigg shouted, running to me. I stood on my feet finally, my arm falling back to my side. ¨You are such an idiot!¨ He snapped at me, I didn't take it to offense, he was just happy to see me. Or angry at me. ¨Look at yourself, Wolf…” He said softly to me in a child like voice. I walked to the rear view mirror. I stepped back, my eyes going wide. I was beyond thin, I realized how little I had eaten in the past 6 weeks. And now, I looked like a walking skeleton. ¨You missed halloween.” Hermann groaned. I glared at him. Sigg, did too, this time grumbling about how this was not the time to make jokes like that. I climbed in the back, Sigg handing me a small snack that I began eating immediately, with my mouth open. The tiny snack tasted bitter and all I tasted was just the chemicals in it. As they started driving, my head hung out the window and I looked up at the surprisingly clear, blue sky. I rested my chin on both of my wrists, tilting my head to the side as the wind blew my messy hair to the side. ¨You doing okay, Wolfgang?¨ Ali asked, sitting in the passengers seat. I ducked my head back inside with a smile. ¨Mhm. Just happy to be with my best friends again.¨ 

We arrived at the martial arts school and I realized how much I had missed it over the few weeks I had been gone, being selfish. I looked down at my feet, before looking back up to face Sigg in front of me. ¨Do you want to work here and be a black belt again?” He questioned me, sure enough, I immediately nodded. ¨Test for it next testing.¨ Sigg replied, catching me by surprise, but, was I really surprised? I had quit martial arts for months. 

Next testing was approaching quickly and I was gaining my healthy weight that I had before. And when the day came, I jumped out of bed in the morning, a wide grin on my face. I got on my original white gi and white pants, putting on my combat boots, tying them before running out to my volkswagen and drove to the martial arts gym. As I stepped in, I knew how it felt being in the back rows from now on. Sigg let me down. I untied my boots, throwing them off to the side and tying my gi correctly, tying my white belt. I was lined up in the farthest back row, and, as soon as the testing began, I was told to do advanced things that I knew all too well to do. It went from simple back leg front kids to spinning hook kicks and flying turn round kicks. I did them perfectly according to Ali. I kept my eyes at where I was kicking instead of the judges and they kept their eyes on me, I could feel them on me in fact. I didn’t feel self conscious at all, I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t get to my goal of being a fourth degree black belt again. “Pad up full gear, everyone!” The highest rank in the whole martial arts school who had mainly been judging, Hermann, shouted. I ran to my boots, I had brought my gear, but, my bag was gone. I froze, my heart falling to my stomach. Tears filled in my eyes, threatening to create a puddle on the floor. I sat down and felt a sob creeping in my throat. I know, I’m a man and I shouldn’t show my feelings. But, now, was the time that I was going to. Ali and Sigg ran over. “Wolfgang…” Sigg said softly. “What happened?” Ali asked, I guess I’d been crying already, my thoughts blocked it out. How did I tell Sigg that my $125 worth of sparring gear was stolen? I managed to mumble something inaudible under my breath. Sigg and Ali looked at each other in confusion before looking back at me. “What?” Sigg bent down to me this time as if he was talking to a child. I looked up with red, puffy, bloodshot eyes. “My gear was stolen..” I choked out, causing Sigg to turn pale, Ali’s tan skin suddenly turned pale. Sigg stood up, lifting me up with him. He dragged me through the middle of the rows. “You’re getting this belt, Wolf!” Sigg snapped, he was angry. He took me to Hermann. “Someone stole his gear.” said Sigg, clearly furious on what had happened. I never saw him this angry. I looked up at him, he seemed so much taller now. What had happened? I didn’t know. Hermann gasped dramatically, that was his personality however. He suddenly seemed angry, too. We were all angry, now. Hermann grabbed his bag of gear, throwing it to me. “Gear up, it may be too big, but, we will talk to everyone after.” Hermann told me, putting his hands on my shoulders. “You’ve been here for so long, you deserve this. I know you’re trying, real hard. Go.” He reassured me, causing me to take all the gear out, putting everything on and using my own mouth piece since that was one thing they had left there. I was set to spar with a second degree black belt. “Jump back!” Both him and I jumped back. “Touch knuckles!” And we touched knuckles. I stayed on my toes, waiting for him to do something, I never did things first. And soon, he was punching me repeatedly on my head gear, causing me to round kick him in the head, then a back leg front kick to the stomach. He stumbled back, trying to round kick me, causing me to roundkick at the same time, wrapping my leg around his, flipping him to the ground. By now, quite a few people stopped sparring to watch the way we sparred. I hadn’t noticed the audience had been cheering me on. He laid back, groaning in pain. He got back up, hardly holding his fists up to his chin correctly, trying to punch me but his punches ended up being bridge punches and it looked like he was trying to cross with his left hand when he was right handed. His right foot was forward instead of his left and his mouthpiece was turning red when it was white before. I threw a horribly done in and out crescent kick solely done to throw him off. I soon saw a punch aiming towards my ribcage, I blocked the sloppy hit easily. “AND TIME!” Hermann shouted, letting out a nervous laugh. “DE-GEAR!” We all took off our gear, and I put it back in Hermann’s bag, holding my mouthpiece in it’s case in my gi. I handed the bag to Hermann. “Thank you.” I didn’t notice my missing tooth and the taste of blood in my mouth at the time, Sigg looked horrified when he saw me smile. “Am I that ugly?” I laughed, I walked back to my row and we were the first ones to get our belts. “Wolfgang Müller..” I was first and they called out my name. I walked forward, bowing in front of Hermann. He handed me a certificate and a belt. “Congratulations on your fifth degree black belt.” My eyes went wide, he had given me a belt higher. He pat my back and I stumbled forward, shaking all the instructor’s hands nervously yet way too happily. I moved to the back row, everyone shocked that I had gotten a black belt in general, I knew I would. I wondered how I was given a fifth degree, I thought there had to be some mistake but then I realized it takes skill, motivation, and hard work to be a black belt. As all the other ranks received their belt, I went from the lowest rank in the room to the highest rank, Hermann excused. “It takes a lot to be a black belt.” Hermann spoke, standing at the front of the rows, walking slowly through the clearing that was at least 4 feet long between the rows. He grinned at me. “Especially when you quit and don’t feel motivation, any belt can do that. Any degree within a black belt can do that. And we experienced that with one of our students, or former teacher. He had a dark time in his life and he came back and he went to class every single day. Every single day. Can you believe that? In two hours he went from white belt to fifth degree black belt. His white gi is turning to black. And his goal? Sixth degree, seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth. And, that, that? That shows courage. Wolfgang Müller is a legend. Thank you for pulling through this mess.” I stood up, and he stood next to me. “Thank you for coming back, brother.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Wolfgang Müller?” I heard a voice behind me as I was walking down the street, my hands stuffed in my hoodie pockets. I looked over my shoulder before turning around, everyone had begun disappearing at the martial arts gym and soon I was the only one there besides Hermann. Sigg disappeared, I figured he’d moved to America with his family. Ali disappeared, too. And after both of them disappeared, every time I spent eight to ten hours there, it was black and white. Without Sigg’s welcoming smile there every morning that I went there to sweat and to work to my goal of sixth degree black belt, it felt like there really was no reason to be there. Without Ali’s constant loud laughter and unique personality, there really was no purpose to be there. 

 

When I saw who was behind me, my eyes went wide, I was shocked to see three men, Herich, Ali, and Sigg there, weakly smiling. It was forced, I knew Sigg’s real smile and everytime Ali smiled he laughed and Herich… he wasn’t smiling. He couldn’t even force himself to and I couldn’t blame him, it was 1942 and the nazis were winning the war so far, who would be able to smile? “Hey Mr. Wolf..” Ali said quietly, chuckling dryly. “Oh dear,” I grabbed Sigg and Ali’s hand, Herich followed beside us. Soon, we were at Ali’s house and Ali showed us around. “I-I sleep here…” Ali wiped his nose with his hand, an empty tissue box on the floor in the kitchen. “Ali… what happened?” I ask him. “I-I-” He stuttered out, falling. I caught him in my arms. “Ali! No! Stay awake.” I shouted. He looked like he was dizzy, his eyes moving around quickly yet as if he was fearing something. “I’m just really tired…” He mumbled. “Open your mouth.” I ordered, and, without asking, he did. I stuck my finger in his mouth and felt around. It didn’t feel gross because his mouth was extremely dry. I took my dry fingers out of his mouth and sighed. “You’re dehydrated, Al.. You can’t live on your own anymore.” I groaned, he just nodded. He wasn’t all that responsive currently, I didn’t expect anything. I ran back to the car, laying him in the back. “Sigg, your house.” I demanded, making him start the volkswagen, driving us to the tiny apartment. As soon as we got there, I picked up Ali and walked him into the apartment, laying him back on the couch. I put my head in my hands, sitting right by his feet. “I’m sorry, Wolf..” Sigg sat on the arm rest next to me, patting my back. “I know it’s hard, everything has been so chaotic lately..” I stood up, grabbing a glass of water, handing it to Ali. He drank it quickly, getting up and getting himself water this time. “Thanks, Wolf.” Ali said, lightly slapping my back as he limped to the sink. I sat back down, looking at Sigg. “It’s just…” I paused, trying to find what to reply to Sigg but I couldn’t. “I don’t know how to feel about any of this anymore. You guys are my best friends and all, but, I just don’t have the feeling of caring anymore..” I threw my head back into my hands sadly, feeling stress filled tears begin to soak into my skin. “Wolf.. don’t say that, it’ll be okay.” Sigg tried reassuring me, but I just nodded and sniffled to shut them all up. 

“You know what we should do?” Ali asked, falling next to me in a slumped sitting position. I looked over, smirking. “Not purposely dehydrate ourselves.” I said before bursting into a fit of laughter, Sigg laughing loudly, too. Ali laughed the loudest, he always has, I can hear him from outside the house when I’m walking up to knock on the door. It’s hilarious to me. When Ali laughed, we all started laughing harder. He looked at us weirdly and stopped laughing, but, we continued. I was on the ground, in tears, making Sigg laugh harder, we both couldn’t even breathe while Sigg pointed at me and laughed, Ali sat there, confused. “Are you okay?” He asked both of us hesitantly and we laughed, shaking our heads. Finally, we calmed down some what and I sat back next to Sigg, both of us giggling every now and then. 

“Anyways, yeah, that, too. Go on.” said Sigg, chuckling. Ali looked down at his hands, fumbling with them. “I.. uh- nothing.. I was just going to talk about how Herich should get his black belt.” The name made me think deeply for a moment, I had actually forgotten who Herich was for a moment there. “Oh..” Our giggles and chuckles stopped completely, Sigg resting his jawline in his hand and looking at me with a look to tell me that this was all on me now. I sighed, groaning as I laughed nervously. “You can’t be serious, right, Sigg?” I asked, laughing nervously. He moved his index finger and middle finger, nodding as he hid in his bottom lip. “I mean, he’s qualified! We can test him, too. He can do his situps and push ups and-” I stopped Ali before he could continue his endless rant. “Fine, we can do some type of personal testing.” I offered, making him quickly nod. “Yes, okay, good!” Ali shouted obnoxiously, making Sigg hide his eyes in his hand, laughing quietly.


	9. Chapter 9

Testing was nearing and I was just as nervous as Herich was, I had talked to him a few times over the past couple of days, but, it was just short lived conversations that neither of us cared about due to what Ali called “the big day.” Which made him clearly seem like a nerd, but, we didn’t judge him, because, they were best friends now from what I could tell. But, testing day, I woke up and did my usual routine I had for everyday except Sunday. I tugged on my black pants, black gi, and tied my belt, doing my hair real quick before smiling, satisfied with the look I held. The intimidating look I cold usually have without the hair styled like this or even just the belt, but, this was a goal I had and now my sixth degree black belt was my goal. I didn’t care, because this uniform was required at specifically testing. 

I pulled into the parking lot, dreading this, or, fear felt like dread. Maybe that was it. I was just scared. I knew I couldn’t just hand this black belt to Herich like a free for all, even though I’ve wanted to ever since he hit the intermediate stage, but, I know deep down how hard he’s been trying ever since he’s been a white belt. I sat down at my usual seat I would during testing as a judge, watching everyone do their stretches, their exercising, practicing everything from a simple jab, cross, to spin turn around jump back leg front kick. Or even a tornado kick. Everyone was soon being lined up from the highest rank all the way down to white belts. The testing began normal, the highest rank would tell everybody to do kicks that they all would know, such as a back leg front kick, a jump front kick, or an in to out cresent kick. I rubbed my chin, watching everyone, specifically Herich. He kept his eyes glued to the place he was aiming at, which was the air, but, a target. He was deeply concentrated, I could tell. “Pad up full gear.” Hermann annouced, making everyone run to their bags that were commonly scattered behind the center of the gym. They all came back, padded up full gear, some took longer to gear up than others but we let them take their time, it was mostly the nervous white belts, it was their first testing, who could blame them, anyways? 

Everyone usually partnered up with the person beside them or possibly an instructor if they were too high of a rank or too strong, which was common with the people in the front rows, other than that, Herich was partnered with a first degree black belt, since that was what he had been testing for. “Jump back! Touch gloves, and, go!” Herich began dancing around the black belt on his toes mockingly, holding his hands up to right below his bottom lip, his eye contact glued on his partner. The first person to throw a punch was not Herich, it was his partner and thanks to Herich’s lovely reflexes, he blocked the quick yet accurate punch. I watched in amusement as they threw combinations of punches and kicks, Herich never took the chance to turn his back unless he knew he could turn his back and land a good kick without his leg or foot being grabbed. I could tell how smart he was being about sparring during testing, though at times while he sparred in class he never sparred like this, like me. 

I let myself accept the fact that he was worth a black belt, Sigg and I looked at each other, then peered over the table at Ali with a grin. Ali tried not to scream out of excitement, I could tell from his face turning extremely red and his white, straight teeth being revealed into a wide smile. We all looked back forward at Herich sparring with a satisfied look.


	10. Chapter 10

The line of children and adults lined up went from the back line, up to the line Herich was in. I stood up, I was to be the one who handed him his belt, next Ali would be. Ali stood beside me, wanting to be apart of this amazing moment for his best friend. “Herich Peter.” Sigg said, holding his paper and microphone in his hand. I picked up the first degree black belt, holding a paper attached to it in my hands. I felt something in my head raise up, flags. Anger pulsed through my veins, I didn’t know why. My hand clenched the paper, not enough to wrinkle it, if I wrinkled that paper Ali would have killed me. Ali looked at me. “Wolfgang?” He whispered, nudging me. I looked at him with an annoyed look before looking back at Herich. We both bowed before I handed him the paper and black belt, looking at him shake my hand and walk away, shaking each instructor’s hand down the line as he did so. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as I handed everyone’s belts to the line. 

“Wolf?” Ali and I stood in the locker room, taking off our gi to reveal our shirts with the company’s name across it. “What, Ali?” I asked with a dragged out sigh. He really had been getting on my nerves and I didn’t know why. “Uh..” Ali looked down, untying his gi before looking up at me, toughening up. “Why are you being a jerk?” He snapped, making me more angry. I punched him across the face, causing him to fall back, his hand covering his eye. Sigg stood there with Hermann, making me look at them. “WHAT?” I shouted, my fists clenched and my face red. “Nothing..” They both shook their heads, making me laugh with insanity. “Whatever you say!” I got off the rest of my uniform, wearing gym shorts underneath my pants. I stuffed the uniform and belt into my bag, storming out of the locker room, shoving past Sigg, causing him to knock into the doorway harshly, holding his arm in pain. I knew they wouldn’t come after me. They were smart not to. 

I got in my car, looking down at the alcohol bottle. “Been a mess without you, Mr. All.” I laughed, taking a long lasted sip out of my alcohol bottle. Ali began running at my car, but, now, I was pulling out of the parking lot and there was no stopping me. 

Even if I hit him. 

Ali jumped onto my car, making me slam on the breaks angrily. I got out of the car, slamming the door shut and pulling Ali down off my car. “You’re just drunk, Wolf…” Ali said, grabbing my wrist. I hit him in the face again, grabbing him by his bangs and slamming his head into the car door as he tried getting me off him, but, I was a fifth degree and he was only a third degree. I took advantage of my strength at that moment. I was pulled back by a stronger, bigger male. “Stop it.” A bigger yet stronger male whispered. I didn’t resist, I gave up trying to. I was thrown to the ground like a drunk man being thrown out of a bar. I kept my head low. Ali was bleeding everywhere, and soon, everything turned black.


	11. SECTION 3

At first, I was really happy Herich had been getting his black belt. Who wouldn’t be for their best friend? It was a great moment for me and him, I knew he would get it. I may have been slightly happier than he was. He was nervous, however confident. I noticed a slight mood shift with Wolfgang. He seemed more anger and when he looked at me I could see the hatred and anger in his eyes. I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked at Herich walking up with a wide smile, Wolf didn’t smile back. 

In the locker room, we exchanged a few sentences I can’t even remember before I saw a fist flying to my face faster than I could /ever/ predict. I fell back, shaking, my eye throbbing in pain, I couldn’t see through it. My ears were practically ringing now and I had trouble keeping my eyes open and soon I passed out. 

“Hey! Guys! He’s waking up!” My vision was blurry and I was opening my eyes, my eyelids constantly closing though I fought to keep awake. “Ali, Ali.. it’s okay, don’t move too much.” A towel with cold water was placed on my eyebrow and made me hiss in a breath in pain. “Calm down..” I heard the voice talk again with a clearly forced chuckle. I squinted, since that was the most I could keep my eyes open currently. I couldn’t tell who it was, he had dirty blonde hair like Wolfgang did, I look down at my right arm that was covered in tattoos, thinking about who I knew that had dirty blonde hair like Wolfgang that wasn’t Wolfgang. Sigg had black hair and his voice was lighter. Hermann had light black hair, I couldn’t describe his voice, it was lighter than Sigg’s for sure, however. I jumped up, my eyes wide open. “No.. you did this!” I shouted, making Wolfgang stand up but not too quickly. I was becoming dizzy, causing me to put a hand on my head. “Listen, Ali, I’m sorry.. I didn’t want to tell you this but I’m bipolar and that is the main cause of my strong case of multi-personality disorder.” I froze, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “How should I know what any of that is?” I snapped, catching Wolfgang by surprise. 

My anger was hilarious to all the other martial arts instructors and even students, it made them laugh. Those were my small tantrums, my sadistic sarcasm that they hated but laughed at, I never figured out why. I had a loud laugh that made them laugh, too, I could be upstairs and they’re downstairs and when I laugh, they can hear it and I can’t hear them laugh but we talk about it at the dinner table when we visit each other’s homes. 

My laugh is loud and so are my yells. My yells are furious and when I snap at someone because I’m angry, I have the ability to make them cry. I find it fascinating how I can destroy someone with just the raise of my voice. 

The night ended cold and the next day when we went to work, we all arrived but it was quiet. It never was quiet. I could hear possibly Sigg downstairs sweeping the mat quietly, music playing through the record player. I heard someone singing along with it, making me walk downstairs. I hadn’t even looked at my face since the incident with Wolfgang. I wore my blue gi and black pants with a black belt tied around my hips. I walked to see who it was and it was Sigg, making me smile, there was no classes going on for 30 minutes. 

“Hey, Sigg!” I waved. He turned around and dropped the broom, making me tilt my head to the side, the feeling of tilting my head to the side hurt my neck, I ignored the pain shooting through. “Ali..” Sigg sighed, wiping his forehead from his quick few sweats. “What’s wrong, Sigg?” I asked. “Your bruises are the problem.” Sigg chuckled, sitting me down. I could see myself from where he sat me on the benches. I was covered, I had bruises all over. Sigg cleaned me up and let me rest. 

I had been laying on my side, my head on a pillow and a blanket covering up to my neck. My face was very well seen. Wolfgang walked in, already in uniform which was usual. He saw me and for a moment I was happy, but remembered the night before. I wanted to cry now. Wolfgang was my best friend, and, I couldn’t even face him. “Come on, Ali, let’s go cut your hair.” Sigg rubbed my back before I stood up, avoiding eye contact with Wolfgang. I stumbled into the bathroom, struggling to walk straight. He sat me on the counter, taking off my gi and folding it, along with my belt. He set it down on a dry part of the sink, wrapping a towel around my shoulders that covered me up. 

Sigg began shaving my head, leaving little hair. Just tiny spikes. I looked in the mirror and immediately felt better about myself. “I didn’t need my bangs anyways.” I smiled. I stood up and left my gi and belt off. I was tired. By the time I had walked back in, other students coming in for the basic class had been piled onto the mat. I didn’t want to teach. I just laid back near the corner of the benches and laid my head on my pillow, covering myself with my blanket.. And sleeping. For the whole day, kids would poke me and wake me up. “Mr. Ali! Why are you sleeping on the bench, silly?” The tiny kids would giggle. I would look at them and quite obviously, I would force myself to smile. “Just sleepy like you, goofball!” The enthusiasm in my voice wasn’t true enthusiasm at all. I knew everyone has to face down their demons, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the feeling of doing anything at all, I was hurt. 

On the other hand, the adults knew that something was wrong with me. I was so happy, and it drained out of me. It stuck with the black belt I wasn’t wearing. “Ali..?” Emma poked me, I clenched my jaw, still facing the wall. I ignored her, I could tell it was her from the accent she had. It was thick, feminine. I was staring at the wall, my eyes shut. I wasn’t sleeping, just breathing. She took my hand, causing me to flinch and move away, mumbling something she didn’t understand.


	12. Chapter 12

Did I want to get out of bed? No. I had no motivation to do anything, by now, I had possibly been fired as an instructor. I didn’t feel any better about getting out of bed or even my tiny apartment, there was no reason if I wasn’t doing what I did best, or my dream in some cases. I stayed in bed longer, the days dragging to weeks and the weeks dragging to months. How many months? I wasn’t sure. I only got out of bed for a drink of water every day. I rarely ate and I showered every day, that was my drink of water. That was it, I didn’t want to smell bed. That was all I cared about. 

Sigg stood at my doorway. I knew he was there. I didn’t open my eyes. My arm was curled around my pillow. “Ali..” his voice was weak. “If you don’t want to be friends..” he paused. I heard him sniffling. “I would understand.” 

“No, no! Sigg, I want to be friends! I want you to stay here and we can catch up and I can go back to instructing and it can be okay again.” That was exactly what I wanted to say, and then I would get up and run to him and hug him as tightly as I could, how could I do that when I couldn’t even talk? I opened my eyes, looking at my tattooed arm. “Say something! SAY SOMETHING!” Sigg slammed his fist against the doorway as he broke down, choking on his tears. Sigg was strong, very strong, he had a dry humour type of sense, and when he was beat down, he wouldn’t cry. He had had horrible things happen to him, worse than things like this. 

I guess losing his best friend was worse for him.


	13. SECTION 4

I was growing weak, my body was unable to function as I fell to my knees. I swallowed the thick lump in my throat that had been growing with the silence. I struggled to my feet and rushed to Ali, looking into his now open eyes. “Say something, please. I need you to do something- I need to know you’re okay. TALK!” I scream into his face, he doesn’t react. I raise my head a bit, glaring down at him. 

I took care of Ali for months after that, at times I would have to remind him late at night to take a shower or drink something. He would get drunk, majorly drunk in fact, to where he would yell. That was the only time that I was happy because I at least got him to finally do something. He would yell at me multiple things that deep down, hurt. I never fell apart like I used to. I was falling emotionless like him. 

“How is Ali?” Wolfgang asked me one day. Truly, I wanted to snap at him, asking why he cared, it was his fault that Ali wasn’t getting out of bed. But, I couldn’t do it. I knew it wasn’t, though the devil on my shoulder argued with the devil on the other. And, the angel won. I looked at him and sighed. “Not good. I’ve come home more to him drunk. It isn’t bad, I know it is. But, he’s just..” We were in the middle of a class and I paused, not wanting to cry. “I can’t take care of him anymore, man, but, he’ll die if I don’t. I can’t kill him. He’s got a family.” I turned my head over my shoulder, my eyes brimmed with red, had I let a tear slip? Kids stopped doing their jumping jacks to look at me. Wolfgang pat my back, turning around with me to where our backs faced the kids exercising. “Listen, I know this is my fault.” Wolfgang whispered. “Yeah, it is!” I rose my voice in a loud whisper. “He has permanent bruises, he might have bloody brain damage from how hard you hit his head in that car! He was knocked out from it and it’s your fault!” I spoke a bit too loud, causing the kids to slowly stop their jumping jacks. I hissed in a breath, mumbling a swear word under my breath before turning around. “High knees.” My voice was quiet. 

I was losing a whole year and it happened before my eyes. I had spent so much time helping Ali, paying for the liquor he only left the house for, working hard just to be paying for the tattoo machine that was the reason he was awake at this point. I stood there, thinking about it deeply. I couldn’t stop thinking or even snap out of it myself. Wolfgang did so for me. “Sigg.” He pulled me to the side. “Your face is red, do you not know that?” As Wolfgang talked I clenched my fists, restricting myself from punching him.   
And, I stormed upstairs. 

Tears streamed down my face as I shut the door to the office, locking it. I laid back in the chair. Imagine played by John Lennon, it was hard to listen to. The tears began calm, one of those few tears that weren’t bad. They turned bad. I never cried, not like this in awhile at least. I leaned back, a cigarette in between my fingers shaking. I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and I felt my legs go weak, sliding off the table. I put my head in my hands. “Dear god, don’t let my descendants be like me.” And everything went black..


	14. Chapter 14

I woke up to a loud pounding on the door, I noticed how dry my throat was. I stood up, ignoring the obnoxious knock and taking a long sip from my water bottle. The knocking came again and again, before I opened the door. “Listen, Sigg, I’m so-” I slammed the door shut in his face. I didn’t want to talk to him. I began remembering. Ali. I needed to go check on him. I didn’t bother changing out of my uniform, I felt no point. Ali couldn’t feel anything, how could I expect him to suddenly feel something from seeing my uniform? I didn’t expect anything. 

I walked downstairs. “Hermann? I’m going to go check on Ali.” I told him, my light voice poking up more. “Yeah, okay..” He paused, before saying the usual ‘uh’ in his sentences as he walked behind his desk, shuffling through some papers in confusion. “Just make sure you are back by 4:00.” He finished, I was unsure what time it was, which made me ask. “What time is it? I seemed to of passed out in the office.” I told the truth, which I didn’t know was the truth, I was unsure if I fell asleep or not. I really haven’t been sleeping a lot recently. “12 o’clock.” Hermann spoke, making me nod with a confident yet forced smile. 

I grabbed my keys and backpack, beginning to walk out before there was a hand on my shoulder. “Sigg.” I recognized the voice. “I am sorry.” he told me. I sighed. “I need to go check on him.” I spoke, ignoring what Wolfgang had told me. I could tell he was losing his patience. It was best if he stayed calm with me. 

“Can I come with?”

“No.” 

I walked out the door, leaving him there as if it were nothing. I squinted my eyes as soon as I stepped out and into the near empty parking lot, the sun rays shining down on me.   
I looked around for my car, the cars all looked the same to me and I can’t tell which one is mine, I’m 100% colour blind. I begin walking around slowly, looking at the license plates. “What are you doing?” A fellow friend of mine, Cvitak asked me. I looked over, sighing. “I can’t tell which car is mine.” I spoke, sounding annoyed. “What colour is it?” Cvitak asked. “I’m colour blind.” I replied to him with a sigh. “I’m sorry.” Cvitak apologized quickly, he always had been a nice person, I knew he didn’t mean to ask me that question. “I’ll help you look for it.” He began, rubbing his hands together. “Mm, okay.” I say, beginning to walk through the parking lot with him. We soon found my car and as I unlocked the door with my key, I thanked him. “Thank you, Cvitak, I just don’t know what I would do without you and I mean, I wouldn’t be able to go home without my car and Ali would probably die and you know what? He probably wants that but I don’t and just, thank you so so much.” I continued rambling on and on, before he stopped me. “You need to calm yourself down, okay? You’re a black belt. You can do this.” Cvitak pat my back. I nodded. “Right.”


	15. 15.

I woke up in my bed the next morning around 10:30 in the morning. I stood up, walking to Ali’s home with a prayer that he was laying in his bed as he used to always do. I was standing at the doorway, staring at the empty bed that had been made perfectly before Ali left. I turned around, slowly walking to the kitchen. I made myself a bowl of cereal, eating about half of it before just pouring it out and walking back to the living room. I sat on the couch, deciding to watch television. I went through the few channels I had on my TV set. I stopped at the news, my eyes squinted, barely paying attention. It showed news on the aftermath of WWII, I didn’t care, too much at least. 

I sat there for thirty minutes until I stood up, walking to my bedroom to grab my boxing gloves. I went to my punching bag. I didn’t know I had been using my punching bag, punching and kicking for an hour straight, along with a generous amount of pushups. Cvitak knocked on my door, causing me to quickly take off one of my boxing gloves and throw one of them off to the side. I walked to the front door where he knocked and opened it. “Hey, Sigg.” Cvitak spoke in a quiet voice. I nodded, which usually meant hi. 

We both walked back in, Cvitak taking off his coat and hanging it up. I decided to take off my other boxing glove and walk to my room, setting it next to the other boxing glove on my bed. “How are you doing?” Cvitak asked. “Worried.” I replied, sitting on the edge of my bed. Cvitak furrowed his eyebrows. “About?” he hummed. “Ali and Wolfgang, possibly dead. Kinda nerveracking.” I said, followed by a cough in my elbow. Cvitak pat my back. “It’s okay. They’ll be just fine. Come on, go get ready if you need to and we can go find them in Berlin.” He assured me. “Mhm.” 

We were searching for our best friends somewhere near the west of Berlin. I went around, asking multiple people if they had seen Wolfgang or Ali, describing their looks at the same time. At times, people would direct me the way they saw Wolfgang or Ali, otherwise people said no. Cvitak did the same exact thing and soon, we met up at a park. “Any luck?” Cvitak asked. I shook my head. “Me either.” He replied. “Do you think we are gonna really find them?” I suddenly asked after a moment of silence. Cvitak looked at me. “Honestly? Yeah, there’s a possibility, but, I just keep in my head that I need to stay calm. For my sake and your sake.” He told me. I thought about that. With all this, I never asked Cvitak how he was. And so, I did. “How are you, C?” I asked him. He tilted his head to the side, thinking about the question for a moment from what I could tell. “I.. don’t know what to feel about all of this exactly. With Ali gone and Wolfgang gone, too, it’s hard to really think about anything properly right now. I say that but there’s too many thoughts trying to cram themselves into my head right now, if that makes any sense.” Cvitak told me. I nodded along at everything he said, it all made sense. He was holding himself together, even if he felt the exact same way I did. “I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry, C..” I whispered. “We can do this together.” Cvitak hummed. I stood up from the bench, as he did, too. We both walked back to the martial arts school. 

“Does it get worse from here, Arjan?”   
“I don’t know.”


	16. Chapter 16

The love of my life. My soulmate possibly? I was unsure. Sometimes I looked at her, as in Madison, and not see a spark in my eyes. I stared at Madison, sighing. “Sigg, what do you call a mad German?” She asked me. My eyes squinted. She wasn’t a german, she was Irish though it wasn’t hard to tell. The large amount of freckles that dotted all over her arms and face, especially her neck. The orange hair usually gave it away and caused glares from the other Germans, such as my friends. I never defended her. I didn’t feel the need to if she didn’t defend me. “What?” I finally replied after a moment of thinking, she had told this joke before. I figured she had forgotten she did. “A sauerkraut.” She said, followed with a snicker. I didn’t even twitch. Her laughter quickly faded rather awkwardly as she looked down. I looked at the wall, sitting up straight with my hands resting on my knees. Madison rubbed her large baby bump, taking my hand and placing it on the baby bump. “You’re a sauerkraut.” Madison said with a whine. I squinted at her, feeling the baby kick. We both looked up into each other’s eyes. I could see love in her eyes, it was only getting stronger and I felt my love dying out. It was temporary, I always knew it would be. She didn’t want it that way.

Pain was wilting my heart within two weeks, I never went to work anymore. “You need a break.” Cvitak had told me sometime ago. I looked at the flower in my hands. A anemone. An unusual flower, but my favourite. We never found Wolfgang and Ali, I continued searching though. On a daily basis, Cvitak asked me how I was feeling, I was always honest. My replies became more shortened and dry, though. My voice would sound monotone. I usually wrote my feelings out by writing, I had no other source besides him but even then, I was more to myself, and my notebook. He asked me how my relationship with Madison was going. I would shrug. “The baby isn’t even mine.” I murmured. He looked at me with a long look of surprise. I shut my eyes, twirling the flower in my fingertips by its end. After a short moment of silence that wasn’t the most comfortable, he replied. “Who’s is it?” he wondered out loud. “A recent boyfriend, but I think she’s just saying that because she doesn’t know who it really is.” I replied, folding my legs on the bench, I sat like a kindergartener but he didn’t seem to mind. It was my personality anyways. 

“Your birthday is coming up.” Cvitak said after a change of subject that I didn’t mind. It was somewhat awkward after all and I didn’t feel like talking about it. Deep down, he didn’t want to talk about it either. I could tell how it was. “I know.” I hummed, causing him to look over. “What do you want?” the question he asked made me think. “Anything that you think I would like. I don’t want a big party either. I just want a few people there, okay? You, my mum, my dad, brother.” I told him. He nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you need time to yourself and family.” he rested his hands on his knees. I stood up and he did, too. 

My birthday came by quick, it was right around the corner anyways and I woke up like usual. I stared at the ceiling for a moment before I stood up from my bed and walked to the bathroom. I did my normal routine. Use the bathroom, brush my teeth, shower, get dressed. I sat on the couch, watching the static on the television box. Cvitak walked in at 2PM, and I was still sat there, quietly. The television box turned off on its own before then, and now, I was staring at the wall. I shut my eyes. Cvitak sat next to me. “Happy birthday.” He whispered. “I hope.”

Cvitak had me sit in my room while he set up my birthday party, having me write while I waited. I set my full notebook on my desktop, laying back on my bed. I shut my eyes. I cleared my head. It’s my birthday. When he called me back downstairs, I stood there. I smiled a bit. “We kinda spoiled you.” My dad said with a chuckle, standing in front of the pile of presents with my mother. “Let’s just hang out and catch up for a moment, okay?” I offered. Cvitak nodded. “Cake after.” I continued. I stayed out of the conversation, unless I was asked to talk, I didn’t really get asked into the conversation though. 

It was painfully quiet. I sat at the table. My brother sat next to me, too. I pulled at her hair but held on. “Sigg.” My father said calmly, looking at me. I stopped. Herich sat in front of me, he had come a bit late but he did live far away. He should have left earlier. I kicked the thought out of my head, that he didn’t care. I picked at my food, my head pounding with a migraine that traveled around. “How are you feeling?” Cvitak whispered. I looked at him. “I’m fine.” I was lying. To him. I was guilty over it. Over the next few minutes, I was becoming more and more fueled with anger. 

“Presents.” Cvitak finally said after a moment of silence, unsure what to talk about exactly. I got comfortable, shutting my eyes before a present was brought to me. A card. I opened it, reading it. I set it down when there was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it.” Cvitak smiled, walking to the door and opening it. I tilted my head to the side in confusion. I didn’t ask anyone else to come, I didn’t know who it could be. 

Footsteps and quiet talking came down the hallway, I fumbled with my fingers. My parents didn’t talk too much, I didn’t want to start much conversation right now anyways. “Sigg.” I heard the familiar voice yet I hadn’t heard it in nearly a year. I looked up, my eyes going wide. “I.. Ali, Wolfgang!” 

I hugged them both tightly, possibly crying. Cvitak watched. That’s why he had been so happy with me over the past few weeks, he had found my best friends. But, waited for my birthday. Normally, someone would be mad at him. I wasn’t. Not at all. I was happy, this was a great time for me. IT was like I was seeing black and white, now I was seeing colours, I was finally realizing that everything was better. Best friends were soulmates and they were meant to stay together. Things don’t just change like that. 

“Best present ever!” I squealed, climbing onto the couch. Ali and Wolfgang sat next to me, Cvitak sat on the other side of Ali. I opened my presents, until I got to my second favourite. Overalls. Black and blue overalls. I looked up at Cvitak. Flowers were painted all over the perfect places.  
“How about we go out to eat after we finish up the presents, hm?” Wolfgang asked. “Well, we only ate cake, so.. Sure.” I nodded. I finished opening my presents, I had my top two favourite glued in my head and ones that I knew I would have for a very, very long time.


	17. 17. SECTION 5.

Tapping my fingers anxiously against the table, I watched the men walk in all together. One had dirty blonde hair, and was kinda short, the other, was about 6’1 and had very, very short hair. I lowered my head to look at my hands. I couldn’t describe the other men, they were.. Odd. Not ugly, but interestingly enough hard to explain. It was clearly one of the boys’ birthdays, he looked like he was about 23 or 24. Soon, one of them came up to me. “I’m Wolfgang.” the man greeted, smiling wide. Wolfgang. The short guy. I nodded slowly. “I’m.. Saint..” I said hesitantly, moving my stool slowly away from him. Truthfully, I hated talking to people I didn’t know when they were the ones that came up to me. I didn’t know why it made a difference when I went up to them, maybe because I was willing to talk. But, instead of running away in pure fear, I just moved my stool away from him, but stayed close to the bar counter. “Saint? Your name is SAINT?” Wolfgang asked with a squint, to be sure I wasn’t lying. I really wasn’t lying, I now wished that I didn’t tell him my real name. I nodded quickly, fumbling with my fingers as I looked at him. “I didn’t know that could be a name, but it isn’t any weirder than Wolfgang.. Well.. maybe a little.” Wolfgang whispered the last part under his breath, to not hurt my feelings.

“Come sit with us, it’s one of my friend’s birthdays. You seem nice. How old are you, actually?” Wolfgang asked me after a minute of me being silent. My hands stayed folded in my lap. “Is that an act of sympathy?” I questioned him. I figured I had cornered him with just my words, causing me to talk again. “Yes, I will.” I finally said with a sigh. I stood up, walking to the table where his friends had been. I slowly sat down next to the birthday boy, scratching at my fingers. “This is.. Saint.” Wolfgang spoke as he came to the table, introducing me. I forgot that I didn’t answer his question, but if the question came up again, I would possibly answer truthfully. For now, it was going to stay out of the conversation. 

I was given weird looks by everyone before they even thought about answering. “I’m Sigg.” The man next to me answered. I nodded slowly at him, before looking at the other two. “I’m Cvitak. Nice to meet you, Saint.” We shook hands. “Ali.” Cvitak nudged Ali, to make Ali greet me, but he didn’t say a thing to me. The waiter came over just as Wolfgang sat next to me. I grabbed my notebook and began writing in my notebook. I didn’t notice Wolfgang glancing over at my notebook at all, in fact. 

Have you ever been afraid of someone looking so much like you that they act like you? Waking up one morning to be on the floor and them in your bed instead of their own. Going downstairs and your parents asking who you are while they sit in your chair eating your mother’s breakfast. The consequences of a doppelganger possibly? I don’t like going to sleep for this reason. I replace the hopeless amount of sleep with endless amounts of whatever can prevent me from sleep. Sleep. I have very dark bags under my eyes that my old friends used to claim tell my story, and, it scares me. Because, how could a dark shade of velvet tell my story? I don’t understand. I can’t get over my old friends leaving the way they did. I can’t sleep, they’re gonna do something crazy to me, probably. Find my doppelganger and do exactly what I just explained. I don’t trust them. I don’t trust anyone. 

“What are you writing?” Wolfgang asked, snapping me out of my phase. With writing, I begin writing, and everything around me goes silent and my thoughts go dead, I don’t even think about what I’m writing. I look up before looking back down and skimming over what I had written, looking back at Wolfgang. “Just.. words.” I whispered, my voice trembling. No one had ever seen my writing, and I never knew what to do when I was asked what I was writing, it never had happened. “What words? In order.” Wolfgang asked more sternly. I looked down. “I need to leave.” I began to get up, but his strong hand made me sit back down just with a touch on my shoulder. I gulped, feeling all the other boys looking at me. “Why didn’t you answer my question earlier? How old are you, Saint? If that’s even your real name.” Wolfgang growled, seeming more upset than I thought he really was. “I…” I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t scared to tell him my age, I was more scared of him not believing me. My name really was Saint, Saint Davids. He would never believe me, though. Not with a name like mine. 

“I’m 15. I-I mean.. I’m turning 15 tomorrow..” I stammered out, causing Ali to examine me a little along with Wolfgang. “You… You’re 15?” Wolfgang asked, to be sure he had heard me right. I nodded. Ali rubbed his neck awkwardly. Wolfgang smashed the beer bottle out of my hands. “Oh..” I mumbled. I hadn’t had a single sip of beer my whole life anyways, I just held the beer bottle to seem older. But, he didn’t seem to care that it was full. I heard Sigg giggle next to me when the bottle hit the floor, I gave him a weird glance. “Let me fix those for you.” I offered, leaning towards him, buttoning his overalls correctly. I wasn’t phased at all by Wolfgang’s odd outburst of anger. “He has those sometimes.” Cvitak whispered to me. I nodded. “It’s hard to upset me too badly.” I assured Cvitak. 

“Is your name really Saint?” I was asked by Ali while we all sat on the couch in his apartment. I looked over and nodded. “Indeed.” I said quietly. He squinted. “Driver’s license?” he asked. I gave him a copy of my ID and it had my name on it, Saint. He seemed less suspicious, examining my name, birth date, whether or not it was expired, all that. He handed the ID back to me and I slid it in one of the pockets of my wallet. I was growing sleepy as we watched a movie or two, struggling to keep my eyes open. I kicked off my shoes and laid down, using whatever was next to me as a pillow as I fell asleep, my jacket used as a blanket. 

I woke up within a few hours or two spread out across everyone, Ali next to me, still awake, along with Wolfgang. I noticed that my legs were across Wolfgang’s knees and my head rested on Ali’s knees, too. I moved a little, trying to get up. “Hey, lay back down.” Ali said quietly, Sigg and Cvitak still asleep of course. I nodded slowly, a sick feeling rising in my stomach.   
“Do you remember puking?” Ali asked me, Wolfgang hardly paying attention, his jaw in the palm of his hand, his eyes halfway open. I shook my head as a response to the question, but that caused a horrible headache to occur that made me feel nauseous. I breathed heavily, close to puking. “Calm down, bud.” Ali warned, clearly not wanting me to puke again. “Yeah, calm down, or else I’ll have to clean up puke.” Wolfgang said, going quiet for a moment. “Again.” 

Wolfgang’s snappy attitude caused me to calm down slightly, not wanting to anger him. I stood up slowly, going to the kitchen. “Can I get water?” I asked hesitantly. “Didn’t even have to ask, of course you can.” Ali cheerfully replied to my question. I grabbed a water of bottle resting on the counter, drinking it quickly. “That.. was mine.” I heard Sigg say with a sigh, flicking on the kitchen light. I set it down, putting the cap on. A stutter escaped my lips of an apology, my hand rubbing my arm awkwardly. Sigg smiled at me. “It’s okay, bud.” he pat my back. “I should have paid more attention to what I grabbed..” I mumbled under my breath, walking away to the living room. I didn’t hear Sigg’s reply, I figured it was something nice and polite but I knew deep down he was a little awkward at least. 

 

My stomach was aching less, the water didn’t really help, the walking did help I suppose. I did take medicine with the water, though, but the medicine was known for not reacting all too quickly. I wasn't all too fond of Wolfgang, he was being a jerk towards me. I guessed he didn't exactly take into consideration that I was young and extremely stupid. I kept my mouth shut. I was extremely dumb for thinking that Wolfgang would have treated me differently. Wolfgang treated no one different, especially a kid like me.

**Author's Note:**

> FAQ
> 
> Can I translate this? 
> 
> No, I am afraid I will not be credited for my work and that is not a good thought. 
> 
> Can I repost this? 
> 
> No, do not post it anywhere else on A03, wattpad, fanfiction.net, or god knows where else. You can always suggest a link to readers who want it read. 
> 
> Can 688 B.C.E be printed out? 
> 
> It is going to be printed out, these chapters are only previews and another thing is that this book is very much, unfinished, and will not be finished for possibly another month.
> 
> How were your characters inspired? 
> 
> I looked up very odd German names and replaced my martial arts instructor's names and personalities. 
> 
> Can I repost this and add new names?
> 
> Absolutely not. 
> 
> Can I make this book into a movie?
> 
> Not without my permission. I will have it taken down.


End file.
